15 sexting tips you won't want to miss
If there’s one thing the COVID-19 pandemic taught us, it is the importance of staying connected with those we love and care about. We’re now fully immersed in the digital age and even the dating scene has shifted in this light.
For many people, sexting has become an important part of sexual relationships, especially with the pandemic putting a restraint on physical connections. Whether you’ve ever sexted before or didn’t have any interest in it, more people are relying on their devices to seek intimacy and according to a recent study, it has become a growing habit since the pandemic began.
For those who are new to it or looking for ways to spice up their relationship, sexting requires you to exercise your seductive communication skills. You’ll need to know how to talk dirty with your partner and rely on your imagination, while expressively vocalizing your sexual desires in a way that gives your partner a clear mental picture of what you want.
If you’re feeling quite unsure about how to build that virtual intimacy with your partner through sexting, here are some expert tips to give you in the right direction.
1. Seek consent from your partner
Just like with every other sexual experience, it is important to speak to your partner about boundaries and timing before going ahead to sext them. For example, you need to discuss whether you are both comfortable sending and receiving nude pictures, what body parts are out of bounds, some words that may be turn-offs and what platform they’re most comfortable with.
Unless you have both established some sexting rules, it is important to always check in with your partner before your texts go from mild to insanely hot.
2. Take things slowly
Quality sexting is all about how good your build-up is. So, always ensure you transition from regular conversations to steamy ones in a non-forceful way.
Start your conversations with a subtle tone that indicates you’re ready to begin sexting but without giving too much away, advises Emily Morse, a renowned sexologist. For example, sending a raunchy image of your cleavage with a simple caption such as “Hello handsome” is enough to grab their attention and give them a clear hint of how the conversation may go if they follow through with it.
Many couples agree that sex is a lot better when it’s done a few paces slower—and the same applies with sexting. You don’t just skip foreplay and jump right into sex, so you should treat sexting the same way and let your conversations slowly build up into it.
3. Be creative and focus on your roleplay
Roleplaying is essential when sexting and you should always remember that you are in control of whatever character you choose to portray.
“Your role is that of a playful partner who is horny and ready to get into something freaky. Your words, photos, and voice messages can all be used to paint a fantasy for your partner and arouse them to the point of satisfaction,” said pleasure coach Tyomi Morgan while speaking to The Cut.
4. Stay within some defined boundaries
There’s always the opportunity to stray outside of your comfort zone with sexting but you should only do and say things you’re comfortable with.
Sexting consists of a bunch of things from a seemingly subtle, “I miss you and can’t wait to make love to you tonight” text to an erotic nude selfie. Start with whichever one makes you slightly uncomfortable but nothing that’ll turn you red with embarrassment.
5. Be conscious of your angles
Photos and videos are usually quite stimulating when sexting, but you should know that angles are key in creating a more intense feeling.
Like Morgan says, visuals are like the bread and butter of sexting and can either improve or worse the whole experience. Take pictures or make videos from angles that only reveal your erogenous zones, especially places your partner gets easily turned on by.
6. Create a library of sexy content
To avoid losing steam while sexting it is good to always be prepared beforehand. You can safely store a pile of selfies, videos and even erotic texts that can be used when the time is right.
This way, you can keep the conversation flowing fluidly with quick and lively responses.
7. Take advantage of a memory
If whomever you’re texting is someone you’ve had a sexual relationship with before, one ace card to pull out of your sleeve would be talking about an erotic memory—one that is quite unforgettable.
A simple introduction like “remember when we had sex in your car last week” can set the tone for a seamless sexting experience.
8. Share your fantasies
Everyone has fantasies and sexting is a great chance to test your feet in the waters if you’re yet to explore them. It is never always easy to speak with your partner about certain things you’ll want to try out in bed when you’re right in front of them, but with sexting, you have the perfect opportunity to talk about it.
So, if you’re a fan of being tied up during sex or experimenting with role-playing, spice up your texts by sharing these fantasies with your partner.
9. Be as detailed as possible
Everything about having a good sexting experience essentially lies in how detailed you are. Ignite your partner’s imagination by creating erotic scenarios in the most detailed way possible.
The more specific you are in describing your sexy thoughts, the better the experience would be for you both, explains Morse.
10. Ask questions
During sexting, you shouldn’t be afraid to ask your partner some questions to help improve the whole experience. After all, sexting is essentially having a sexual conversation.
Asking some sensual questions can be the fastest way to get into the mind of your partner and can also help you to paint a more vivid picture of what their fantasies are. It would be great to think of some of these questions beforehand to help prevent a lag during your conversation.
11. Voice notes are well within limits
Sexting isn’t just limited to texts, photos, and videos. You can equally incorporate voice notes into your conversation to give it more spark.
Voice notes can be quite stimulating when done naturally. So, don’t be afraid to talk dirty or even record sounds of you playing with yourself to heighten the mood.
12. Avoid getting too technical
For those who are new to sexting, typing certain slang and euphemisms might seem strange but be rest assured that it is much more effective than relying on medical terms.
Prepare your vocabulary in advance and incorporate as much sexual slang as possible. This would ensure your delivery is fluid and sexier while your partner reads them.
13. Memes and GIFs are useful too
There are lots of sexual content available online that you can take advantage of while chatting with your partner. Sexy memes and GIFs can add more spice to the conversation and help you both visualize scenarios much better.
14. Engage all five senses
Whoever you’re sexting isn’t physically present with you and can only rely on your words—and their imagination—to create a mental image of what’s happening.
When describing to them, make sure you create a sensory experience that makes it feel like they’re right there with you, smelling, tasting, hearing, seeing, and feeling everything.
15. Always be sure to have fun
One common mistake people make while sexting is focusing too much on being perfect that they forget to have fun.
Sexting involves a lot of teasing and you’re largely in control of what happens. Therefore, ensure you’re communicating adequately with your partner and talking about all the naughty things that also get you excited.